ANTP'S PAYDAY MAILBAG

I do a mailbag on facebook every once in a while and I decided to bring it over here.  I will try to bring my mailbag over to the blog for now on. Enjoy!

Here is my question.

What is the best way to tell your girl she's getting fat without starting an argument and prompting her to make some changes?

This is a dilemma that all men of all races face.  It’s a few things that you don’t mess with a woman about and one of those is her weight. Why? Because as much as woman say they want the truth, they don’t REALLY want the truth.  But we are not here to offer excuses, that’s what we don’t do here at the mailbag.  So here are some possible solutions to this issue:

“Baby, what’s this I hear about Oprah starting some weight loss campaign, I think that’s dumb.” – If you tell a woman that Oprah is doing something and you DON’T like it, women will move heaven and hell to prove to you the Oprah is right.

“Baby, I paid for you and three of your friends for a year membership and flirty girl” – This make losing weight fun for your lady, she and three of her buddies can burn calories playing make believe sluts.  And she may learn some new moves for you.  A win-win for everybody.

“Baby, they put mild sauce on hummus now”- In case you dating a hoodrat, this may be the only way to trick them to do something.  Hoodrats are particular stubborn to losing weight.  Either they stay skinny or they get thicker and thicker until they shop at the Ashley Stewart version of Rainbow.

These are all the suggestions I have at the time.  Good luck as she throws something at you at the mention of work out.

Need to know how many years are acceptable to be older that the person you're seeing without coming off looking like R. Kelly?

This is a big dilemma, especially in Chicago.  To me it’s all relative to age.  If I’m 24 dating a 21 year old, that’s no problem.  But if I’m 19 dating a 16 year old, I may get the side eye.  But in the end we are all hypocrites.  As my good friend S.A. Davis said “if you see me in the streets holding Raven Symone’s $400 million dollar hands, you betta STFU and keep on moving.” Real talk, NIGGAS IN CHICAGO WAS NOT UPSET AT R. KELLY FOR FREAKING THE YOUNG CHICK, THEY WERE MAD AT HIM FOR PEEING ON HER, AND THAT’S FACT CHIEF. In fact, if you wanna be real, look at yo grandaddy and yo grandma.  In the black culture yo grandady maybe 8 years or more older than yo grandma and they didn’t get married in their late 20s or 30s.  YALL NEED TO START ACTING LIKE R KELLY INVENTED THIS YOUNG GIRL LUST. IKE TURNER TOOK TINA OUT HER MOMMA HOUSE WITH HER MOMMA’S CONSENT. HER MOMMA WOULDA WENT, BUT IKE AINT WANT HER OLD ASS. OLDER PEOPLE KILL ME WHEN THEY ACT LIKE SMOKEY ROBINSON WAS BANGING OLDER CHICKS ON THE TOUR BUS. NO! SMOKEY ROBINSON BEAUTIFUL LIGHTSKIN SELF WAS BANGING TEENAGERS TOO. EVERYBODY RELAX AND GET OFF R KELLY BACKS.  YES I GET EMOTIONAL DEFENDING R.KELLY LOL.

What are your thoughts of 4Loko ?

I have never had 4loko, but any alcohol that gets banned has to be crack in the bottle.  Do you realize how hard it is to ban alcohol, especially when they still find it legal to sell colt 45?  In college, me and my friends intentionally brought a 40 ounce to see what the experience would be like.  I took a sip of that shit and immediately spit it out.  Colt 45 taste like herpes infested urine combined with the worst parts of the bible.  I thought I was surely going to die.  And that is LEGAL.  But the crazy part is, dealing with black folk, since it is now deemed illegal to sell, niggas wanna try it now.  IM SURE THIS IS HOW COCAINE GOT ITS START IDIOTS!

Whatever happened to 3piece and what’s the last Twista album you bought?

I always wondered about what happened to three piece, and recently got reports that they were going to beaty shops to peddle a new album entitled “The red line.” Anywho, as much as they fell off, you cannot deny that summer of 2001, they song had you doing all type of stuff to women in the club,  I remember college night at the 50 Yard Line (now known as the Lick to you young whippersnappers) and they performed in the middle of the party.  A person who shall remain nameless on my friends list gave me to this day the best dance I received in the club, strippers included.  Enough of that though.  The last twister album I brought was adrenalin rush.  I bootleg the good one when I was in college, but I don’t plan on buying anymore.  Twister songs all sound like they were produced in the back of Uncle Remus.  No thank you.

Please rank the following: Drose, CP3, Rondo, Deron Williams

Now this is a question.  This is my answer as of today at 1:05pm…

1)      CP3-People forgot how good Chris Paul is when healthy.  I mean, he is playing point guard like God intended it to be.

2)      Deron Williams- Not too far behind, bigger body, slightly better shooter…but points deducted because he is light skinned with a receding hairline he tries to hide.

3)      Derrick Rose- I’m sorry But I cannot in good conscious put him below rondo.  The reason:  You can start a team around Paul, Williams, and Rose.  You can’t start building your team around Rondo.  And I reserve the right for when Boozer gets back to rate Rose higher, because he scores better than any point guard right now, while averaging 10 assist.

4)      Rondo-Needless to say, I love Rondo’s game, he has an uncanny ability to put the ball in the exact spot his teammate needs it. And his rebounding is uncanny.

How do you feel about married people looking through each other’s cell phone?

That is tricky.  I always have a simple rule:  If you aren’t paying this bill, than you aren’t looking through my phone on the regular.  I have always lived by that creed.  It saves both parties time, headache, and a good shaking.  But at the same time, if my wife picks up my phone, so be it.  If you married I suggest you not cheat so this won’t be a problem at all lol.

What do you really think of the Q and A game we played on facebook this week?

I thought it was fun…for two days.  By day three, people were just being messy and they young people of facebook have no class at all with what to put up on what not to put up.  It was an opportunity to tell somebody you had a crush on them, even though they probably already knew.  It was an opportunity to tell someone why you stop talking to them, even though, again, you probably had been guessed the answer.  Overall, it was a fun read that helped me waste time during the work day.  To all the people that acted like they were too old or mature to play…Get over yourself.  Nobody could care less about your wanna be older lame ass answering questions.  We already knew you were a whore or a lame to begin with.