ANTP'S "IT'S TUESDAY AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS TEBOW CRAP" RANT...

It's Tuesday roughly 48 hours since Tebow pulled off  a miracle that should be ranked in the top 50 of miracles God has performed. (If you are scoring at home, this ranks right behind the parting of the Red Sea).  Between that and this shortened NBA offseason/free agency that reminds me of a lunchtime dice game I'm at my wits end.  So I came here to my blog to blow some steam.  My rants, according to how they are popping in my head:

1) I have replayed that Broncos Bears game in my head 100 times, and these anyalyst need to stop.  Tebow is inspiring.  Tebow is a virgin.  Tebow may even be the third part of the holy trinity.  But Tebow is not a winning starting qb in the NFL.  I have accepted the fact the Bears, without their starting QB and RB (who were top ten at their respective positions) lost to a higher purpose.  When God is minstering, no one can stop it, not even a great Bears defense...it is what it is.  As I said before, I truly believe God is using Tebow to convert some people to Christianity. Denver, especially Tebow, DID NOT BEAT US.  In fact, if it wasn't for Marion freaking Barber running out of bounds...

2) Marion Barber.  What. The. Hell.  Im trying to remain composed as I type this, but dude? What the flocka? I mean really? REALLY??!!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN JUMP IN THE AIR AND LANDED IN BOUNDS OR RUN BACKWARDS YOU OLE PUNK SUM MA MA B*#$H?!!! ARRRGHHHHHH!!! Moving on...

3) Dwight Howard.  Dude, my grandaddy told me a phrase that you need to adhere to. He told me "I don't know what the key to a successful life is, but I do know you will fail trying to please everybody." But here you are, on TV telling me you think Orlando is the greatest place in the world and you don't want to leave...but you are requesting a trade? Dude you are a grown ass man, if you want to leave stop acting like a pussy about it.  And the fact that you are requesting trades to some random ass places outside of LA is baffling! New Jersey/Brooklyn, but you dont want to come to Chicago?  You right D Howard, don't come, because Chicago fans sniff out the pussy in they sports figures the quickest and will expose you (see Boozer, Carlos, 2011 playoffs)

4) David Stern and the NBA...Thanks Stern, now I get to watch these NBA games this year knowing that if the Bulls win a championship you may come down and say that they didnt really win and you are taking the trophy away for "basketball reasons" smh.  I hate how black people got to give detailed explanations over minor incidents like not putting a shopping cart back in the parking lot, but white people can do abundantly foul shit sometimes and the only explanation they gotta drop is "basketball reasons"...what the hell...

5) Bitter single women...stop rubbing off on your friends and let your happier friends be great.  Its the holidays, you hoes.  Cheer up.

Thats all the rants I have for now.  Until I get pissed by something else later today smh.

The Return of the Mailbag!!!

When will the NBA lockout end and who will get the better deal, players or owners?

Before we address when the lockout end, lets address the obvious: THE LOCKOUT SUCKS.  This has got to be the worst thing taken away from me since they closed Dock’s on 95^th and Vincennes.  It’s August and I’m already fretting about what my life will be like come October with no basketball.  I will not mince words; it will be in shambles.  I will be forced to watch television programs on Lifetime movie network because ‘its not like there’s a basketball game on’, hold some meaningful and pointless conversations with Ella because ‘its not like it’s a basketball game on’, do chores around my house that I used to put off for weeks because ‘its not like it’s a basketball game on’…you get the point.  It’s going to be hell on earth pretty much.

When will the lockout end? Prayerfully, in October.  Hopefully? In January. Realistically? May 2012.  The sides are so apart, the owners are anal, the players are in denial about what they have done to mess up the financial structure and nobody is budging.  The players are way more educated about how to handle the lockout then they were in ’98.  It’s going to be a long ride unfortunately.

Who will get the better deal?  I have never been seen a situation where millionaires and billionaires got into an argument and the billionaires came up with the short end of the stick.  There billionaires for a reason and they have made their money in other areas where they can sit out two seasons if need be to get what they want.  Imagine if you 16 and decided to stage a lockout versus your parents? How you think that would play out?

As of right now, does Barack Obama get your vote in the 2012 election? Why or Why not?

Of course Barack gets my vote in 2012.  Why does he? Not because he’s black (that definitely entices me) but because…who the hell else am I picking?  Wild horses couldn’t drag me to the poll to vote for Palin, I don’t know enough about the Tea Party but from what I know, they haven’t said anything new, and the Republicans still don’t get it.  Honestly, unless Jesus Christ is on the ballot, I don’t know think any candidate can get us out of the mess we are in, INCLUDING Obama.  It just seems like everyone is putting the same piece of boo boo on a plate and popping it in a microwave and telling me it’s a gourmet meal, and I’m yelling back no its not, you just warmed up a piece of shit.  That’s what the politics of this country feel like to me.  So I don’t mind giving Obama another 4 years to see what he can do.  Aint like I got a better choice.

I have a virus on my computer and my aunt has to come to my house to fix it.  What is the best way to tell her my admin password is “pussypussypussy”?

I don’t know how I feel that of all the people you know in life, I’m the person you feel is the best to answer this question.  That is either a compliment or diss.  Anywho, I would just calmly tell Auntie that I have early onset Alzheimer and that’s the easiest thing for a young man like myself to remember *blank stare*…

How do you feel about the NFL reviews of every touchdown that is obvious? It takes up too much time…

I’m all for any advance in rules that helps us achieve more accuracy in our favorite sport, but some of these challenges take too damn long to go thru. If after drinking a fifth of 1800 with friends straight no chaser I can glance at the TV and know something is a touchdown intoxicated, but it takes an NFL ref 5 minutes to figure it out with the aid of replay official up top in a booth, they have got to do better.  During the Bears-Giants preseason game, I was able to go take a piss and they were still discussing a touchdown replay.  Ridiculous!

Are men ok with their women making more money than them and are women comfortable making more money than their men?

Interesting question, but it honestly depends on the individuals.  In a perfect world it shouldn’t matter, because you should love the person for who they are and the money shouldn’t be a huge factor (lets be real, it is a factor, thus the reason we should both have a job; in fact lets assume the question deal with both people working because I don’t deal well with unemployed people who don’t give a damn about working…let me stop before I go on a rant).  It’s a recession and sometime you got to get in where you fit in employment wise.  You need all the help you can get! What I look like as a man to be moody and pouty all because my woman makes more than me, that’s foolish.  If you can’t celebrate your woman’s success than you got bigger issues than her paycheck.  And as a woman, as long as you see your guy grinding trying to move his way up and he still provides you with everything you need monetarily and emotionally, why care? Don’t turn a good guy away just because you make a few more thousands!  That few more thousands can’t buy your dream guy if you already turned him away…

How does Will and Jada breaking up affect the black community?

I feel like this was the dumbest display of the black community yet.  We already have problems with relationships within our community, but to act like an asteroid was about to hit planet Earth when 'rumors' of Will and Jada split was surfacing was pathetic.  Whats wrong with you people!!!! Just because 2 ppl are breaking up who are famous, doesn't give you the right to say "oh my god, what do I do with my relationship now?'...You big dummy, WTF DO THEY GOT TO DO WITH YOU AND YO TRIFILING ASS RELATIONSHIP? PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU ARE GOING TO REACT IF YOU FOUND OUT OBAMA HAD A WOMAN ON THE SIDE?!!! IF YOU HADNT NOTICE, MOST BLACK MEN COULD GIVE A DAMN.  BLACK WOMEN PUT MORE IDEOLOGIES AND FALSE PRETENSES ON RELATIONSHIPS THAN ANY OTHER SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION...I SWEAR...

THE DECONSTRUCTION OF LEBRON JAMES...THE FACTS HIS FANS DON'T WANT TO SEE...

17 points. 10 rebounds. 10 assists.

On the surface, these numbers look like a wonderful all around performance.  It leads you to believe that the person who produced this stat line had their fingerprints all over this game, that they controlled the outcome of this game from the opening tip.  If Danny Granger, Luol Deng, or Andre Iguodala had put up these numbers, we would be hailing them as one of the better performers of the game.

But oh sweet baby 9 pound, 8 ounce Jesus, we actually have to watch games with our eyes.  And what I have seen from the last two games from LeBron James, including the aforementioned triple double, is some of the worst basketball I’ve seen from an alleged “best player in basketball” in my 28 years of walking this earth.  But the even more frustrating part of these sleep walking performances? That some of his fans are trying to defend this guy and his actions on the basketball court.  My question to you fans: When do you all stop accepting mediocrity from this guy?

Let’s lay out some facts since you all just want to look at numbers and not the whole picture so you can feel better about yourselves.  LeBron James has scored a total of 11 points in 5 fourth quarters in this series so far. For a comparison of how low that is, Dirk has scored 52.  Lebron James through 9 NBA Finals games (he got swept in 2007 by the Spurs) has never scored over 25 points in a game. LeBron James has scored a COMBINED 25 points in the past 2 games with…wait for it…JASON FREAKING KIDD AND DESHAWN SOLDJA BOY STEVENSON DEFENDING HIM…BOTH ARE LISTED AS 6’4”…IN CASE YOU FORGOT, LEBRON JAMES IS LISTED AS 6’8” 260 POUNDS WITH CHRIS PAUL SPEED.  YES, THAT WAS KARL MALONES SIZE IF YOU WERE THINKING THAT. LeBron James was content with shooting 3-11 one game when his team desperately needed scoring.  I could go on and on but you get the point.

Yet, when it is convenient for his fans to ignore these facts, they do so and tell me things like “LeBron was trying to be a facilitator” and “LeBron had a triple double, how could you say he had a bad game?” when they know damn well when they were watching the game they called LeBron all types of bitches and hoes.  Look Lebron fans, all I want I consistency.  When Derrick Rose struggled, I was the first to admit that my favorite player struggled down the stretch and that LeBron had a part in that.  A lot of you Bulls haters (who actually live in Chicago) were quick to point this out to me too.  Yet you act like this fool can do no wrong.

When are you people going to give this clown his full blame without trying to bring up somebody else’s bad game?  If LeBron was on you pickup team at the park and you knew he COULD dominate but kept passing the ball to lesser teammates and you lost the game? YOU WOULD BE PISSED.  WHEN ARE LEBRON FANS GOING TO STAND UP AND SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND YOU DEMAND GREATNESS FROM THIS CLOWN?!!! IT’S THE NBA FINALS DAMMIT; THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO FACILITATE! NOT WITH JASON FREAKING KIDD STICKING YOU!!! I DON’T GET IT!!!  SOME OF YOU ALL EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO BLAME DWAYNE WADE, WHEN HE WAS THE ONLY SHOWING A GOD DAMN PULSE IN THE FOURTH QUARTER.  HELL CHRIS BOSH HAS BEEN MORE DEPENDABLE DOWN THE STRETCH THAN HE HAS.

And people who are not familiar with why some of us hate LeBron, this is why.  I know Derrick Rose tries his damnest every game to win.  I know Kobe will cut off his right arm to win a game, even as his teammates are wide the fuck open and he shoots contested fade aways.  I cannot rock with a cat whose fans hope that he cares enough to play his best in a freaking NBA finals game.  But hey, you guys keep lying to yourselves and saying that he did his part to win a NBA championship.

P.S. MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN WOULD NEVER EVER LAY CONSECUTIVE TURD SANDWICHES IN THE FINALS LIKE THIS BASTARD DID.  THE THINGS HE WOULD HAVE DID TO JASON KIDD IN THE POST WOULD BE LABELED AS CHILD PORNOGROPHY. JUST WANTED TO MAKE THAT CLEAR IN CASE YOU EVEN THOUGHT SCOTTIE PIPPEN WAS RIGHT YOU IMBECILES!

D ROSE IS MVP...AND IT AINT NOTHING YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT...

I’m sick and tired….

I am at the point of vomiting…

If I read one more ‘DERRICK ROSE IS NOT THE MVP’ article from these stat nerds I am going to scream!  In the past week, I’ve read at least 10 articles detailing me how D Rose doesn’t statistically compare to his MVP competition and that this is all just a way of the media getting revenge on LeBron James.  Its time from someone who sat at the cool table at lunch time to speak on this issue.

This whole argument between the media types and stat nerds seems like a sports example of high school.  All the cool kids are doing the cool things and the nerds have to go out the box just to be noticed.  You know, stuff like put decorations on their Volkswagen beetles and dress differently and tell everyone “I’m wearing the stuff ya’ll not on yet.” Naw player, Boff aint never coming in style.  The cool kids always prevail.

That’s how I see this MVP thing playing out.  The ‘cool kids’ (ESPN, TNT Inside the Game Crew, NBA TV people) are for the most part picking Derrick Rose for MVP, for the following reasons:  leader of the best team in the east, only player in top ten in scoring and assist, demonstrates ability to take game to the next level when needed in the clutch, carried team when Carlos Boozer took his three annual trips to the injured list and when Noah was injured, forced to play with the carcass of Keith Bogans at the 2 guard spot and then breathed life into him to the point that Bogans has connected on 43% of his threes since January, and probably the most electrifying player in the game to watch.  The Keith Bogans fact alone should have cemented this.

But lo and behold, there is cry from the nerd community saying ‘WAIT A MINUTE! HOW CAN YOU JOCKS JUST MAKE THE CHOICE THAT THIS IS HOW IT HAS TO BE?!!! COME ON MAN, THAT’S NOT FAIR, WHAT ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY?  They have been on an all out warfare against D rose candidacy. Here are the stat nerds case against D rose: Lebron, D Howard, and a host of other players have had a higher PER rating than rose, the Bulls Defense is the real reason the Bulls are where they are, if you look at a SMALL ASS SAMPLE SIZE of stats,  you can see that the Bulls would not be as bad as we thought without Rose, his teammates are not as bad as you think, the Bulls offense is average at best, his fg % is low for an MVP candidate and host of other non sensical reasons.  But the most important reason: YOU ALL MADE HIM THE MVP WINNER ALREADY WITHOUT CONSULTING US ABOUT THE STATS.

Well you know what stat geek community?  Too freaking bad!  You wanted your home girl in AP calculus to win prom queen because she was a nice girl?  Too fucking bad.  All the bros chose the redbone with the fat ass for prom queen and we shall sleep well with this choice.  Same as MVP.  You can crunch all the stats you want, but when they don’t add up to what we see on the court, then the correct answer is to not conform what I see to fit your stats.  It is to look at what I see first, check the stats and then form a balance conclusion from there.  You stat nerds are not doing that!  Russell Westbrook is an awesome player, but if I see one more article telling me he’s more of an MVP candidate than rose again, I’m going to throw a laptop.  You all watch the damn games!  While westbrook has taken over some games, his main job is to set everything up for his spectacular small forward Kevin Durant.  Rose is asked to be the main scorer, main distributor, start the defensive intensity, walk on water, breast feed and take out the garbage.  And Ive seen westbrook run some crunch time offense, it leaves much to be desired.

The fact that the bulls offense ranks in the top 15 in the league is a testament to Rose not a detriment.  He missed his best low post option for at least 35 games, his best rebounder (especially offensive) for 31 games, has only one three point (consistent) shooter in Korver and Luol Deng.  Thats not exactly the Phoenix suns offense.  And for everyone that discredits his defense, he does play 38 minutes a game. There are only 48 minutes in a game.  I think he can be lumped in with that defense improvement. He has made huge strides on defense this year to the point where he has stuck D wade in the clutch and did a reasonable job.  He's not Gary Payton, but he's no steve nash on the defensive end either.  AND TO SAY THAT THE BULLS WOULDN'T BE THAT BAD WITHOUT HIM IS THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL THING I HEARD.  HAVE YOU SEEN CJ WATSON RUN AN OFFENSE FOR A QUARTER? AND DON'T EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE IT.

Look, we can go back and forth on who could win this award.  And I can even admit that there are some worthy canidates this year.  But I suggest instead of writing whole articles on why Rose SHOULDN’T WIN IT…write an article on who you think should win it.  Before the cool kids come by and take your calculators.

WHY DOES ANT P HAVE A DISTASTE FOR THE MIAMI HEAT?

On the mornig of the most anticipated "ex-wife" game in NBA history, I decided to finally write out my official stance against the Miami Heat and subsequently Lebron James due to recent jabs at me as being a "hater".  Many of you who read me know in general my opinion on all things Lebron and the Miami 3LWs, but only a few of you know the specific reasons why.  And before you go into the whole "You just hating on them because they are losing" please remember: I HAVE DISLIKED LEBRON JAMES SINCE HIS ROOKIE SEASON, THIS HATE I HAVE IS REAL.  I ALSO STATED THE HEAT WOULD HAVE PROBLEMS BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED...I HAVE "WITNESSES" HAHAHAHA...Without further ado, a few reasons why I have a constant dislike, in a chronological order...

1) LEBRON HAS BEEN A DOUCHBAG SINCE HIS INCEPTION INTO THE LEAGUE
The most talented prick to ever grace the NBA court.  I have always been a guy that has try to see things opposite of the popular point of view and when Lebron came into the league the popular point of view was "He is going to be one of the greatest".  Statistically, he has mostly held up his end of the bargain, his last two regular seasons some of the greatest numbers I seen on a stat sheet.  Unfortunately, they don't input regular season stats into an excel spreadsheet and determine winners in the playoffs.  You have to actually have some nuts and go out and win series...and besides that night in Detroit where he scored 28 straight points...he's done nothing to earn my respect...

2) THE WAY WADE, BOSH, AND LBJ ACTED IN FREE AGENCY WAS TRASHY AT BEST...
You would have thought they were all trying to coordinate where they were leaving from prom together the way they were acting.  Especially Wade, who i thought was one of the most classiest individuals in the league until this summer when he started the whole "The Bulls are not a loyal organization crap" (which is going to be hilarious when Pat Riley trades D Wade next season because he is the oldest out of the three).  I actually gave Lebron credit for handling his free agency with some class...but that was until he came out with "The Decision", the most poorly planned television appearance since Teeny was introduced to us on Fantasia reality show.  That shit was a live train wreck on national TV, that you could tell was not thought out all the way when they showed people burning Lebron jersey and he had the same look on a guy face when he breaks up with a girl that everybody knew was crazy but him.  Just ridiculous.  And Chris Bosh hurt his image the worst in free agency.  You wanna know why?  Every guy I know will roast Wade and LBJ, but won't go too far.  Almost every guy I know thinks Chris Bosh is homosexual or at least Bi sexual after this free agency.  This was not the general conclusion beforehand lol.

3) THIS TEAM WAS FLAWED FROM THE GET GO, BUT THE NATIONAL MEDIA REFUSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS...
From the predictions of the East Champions to breaking the '96 Bulls record, I found it extremely irritating how the media conveniently forgot that we have never seen Wade or Lebron play off the ball in our lives against NBA competition (don't give me that olympic shit, the competition was like playing a bunch of role players every night, except for Spain, and they needed Kobe's heroics to beat Spain) and that the NBA game still consists of one basketball.  Nobody thought about how routinely Chris Bosh shrunk against the Celtics every time he played them.  Nobody thought that Ilgauskas, Eddie House, Juwan Howard, and Udonis Haslem would be 10th men at best on the Lakers or Celtics.  Nobody mentioned that Mike Miller was TERRIBLE his past three seasons overall.  But I was supposed to be excited over this team.  I'm more excited over a hand job from a fat girl.

4) AND FINALLY...THE AMOUNT OF EXCUSES GROWN MEN GIVE LEBRON IS SICKENING...
This has been the most startling thing of all...grown men make more excuses for LeBron than battered wives do for abusive husbands.  Its ridiculous!  How much time do the 3 of the top 20 players in the league need to gel before we realize this shit will not work as presently constructed?  When will you all finally admit that Lebron is so much of a jerk that it is detrimental to his game?  Its one thing to be a jerk like Kobe Bryant, but at least Kobe has sense enough to know when to check his ego at the door and win some rings!  Ive heard multiple black men in the community tell me, and I quote "Man, you can't play basketball after you find out your mother had sex with your teammate"....ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!!? I've played basketball a few days after my mother died, after I broke up with a chick, and a host of other terrible things.  BLACK JESUS PLAYED IN THE FINALS WITH SWINE FLU.  SCOTTIE PIPPEN PLAYED GAME 6 OF THE FINALS WITH A HERNIATED DISK AND TOLD MJ "YOU SHOOT AND I'LL PLAY DEFENSE" AND COVERED HALF THE COURT BY HIS DAMN SELF.  REGGIE MILLER HIT HIS GAME WINNING THREE POINTER ON THE BULLS IN 1998 WITH A SEVERLEY SPRAINED ANKLE.  THE LIST CAN GO ON AND ON, BUT YOU WILL NOT TELL ME THAT LEBRON WAS EMOTIONALLY SCARRED SO HE COULDN'T PLAY.

I am now officially on the record with my Miami//Lebron hate...have a awesome day...GO CAVS LOL!

ANTP'S PAYDAY MAILBAG

I do a mailbag on facebook every once in a while and I decided to bring it over here.  I will try to bring my mailbag over to the blog for now on. Enjoy!

Here is my question.

What is the best way to tell your girl she's getting fat without starting an argument and prompting her to make some changes?

This is a dilemma that all men of all races face.  It’s a few things that you don’t mess with a woman about and one of those is her weight. Why? Because as much as woman say they want the truth, they don’t REALLY want the truth.  But we are not here to offer excuses, that’s what we don’t do here at the mailbag.  So here are some possible solutions to this issue:

“Baby, what’s this I hear about Oprah starting some weight loss campaign, I think that’s dumb.” – If you tell a woman that Oprah is doing something and you DON’T like it, women will move heaven and hell to prove to you the Oprah is right.

“Baby, I paid for you and three of your friends for a year membership and flirty girl” – This make losing weight fun for your lady, she and three of her buddies can burn calories playing make believe sluts.  And she may learn some new moves for you.  A win-win for everybody.

“Baby, they put mild sauce on hummus now”- In case you dating a hoodrat, this may be the only way to trick them to do something.  Hoodrats are particular stubborn to losing weight.  Either they stay skinny or they get thicker and thicker until they shop at the Ashley Stewart version of Rainbow.

These are all the suggestions I have at the time.  Good luck as she throws something at you at the mention of work out.

Need to know how many years are acceptable to be older that the person you're seeing without coming off looking like R. Kelly?

This is a big dilemma, especially in Chicago.  To me it’s all relative to age.  If I’m 24 dating a 21 year old, that’s no problem.  But if I’m 19 dating a 16 year old, I may get the side eye.  But in the end we are all hypocrites.  As my good friend S.A. Davis said “if you see me in the streets holding Raven Symone’s $400 million dollar hands, you betta STFU and keep on moving.” Real talk, NIGGAS IN CHICAGO WAS NOT UPSET AT R. KELLY FOR FREAKING THE YOUNG CHICK, THEY WERE MAD AT HIM FOR PEEING ON HER, AND THAT’S FACT CHIEF. In fact, if you wanna be real, look at yo grandaddy and yo grandma.  In the black culture yo grandady maybe 8 years or more older than yo grandma and they didn’t get married in their late 20s or 30s.  YALL NEED TO START ACTING LIKE R KELLY INVENTED THIS YOUNG GIRL LUST. IKE TURNER TOOK TINA OUT HER MOMMA HOUSE WITH HER MOMMA’S CONSENT. HER MOMMA WOULDA WENT, BUT IKE AINT WANT HER OLD ASS. OLDER PEOPLE KILL ME WHEN THEY ACT LIKE SMOKEY ROBINSON WAS BANGING OLDER CHICKS ON THE TOUR BUS. NO! SMOKEY ROBINSON BEAUTIFUL LIGHTSKIN SELF WAS BANGING TEENAGERS TOO. EVERYBODY RELAX AND GET OFF R KELLY BACKS.  YES I GET EMOTIONAL DEFENDING R.KELLY LOL.

What are your thoughts of 4Loko ?

I have never had 4loko, but any alcohol that gets banned has to be crack in the bottle.  Do you realize how hard it is to ban alcohol, especially when they still find it legal to sell colt 45?  In college, me and my friends intentionally brought a 40 ounce to see what the experience would be like.  I took a sip of that shit and immediately spit it out.  Colt 45 taste like herpes infested urine combined with the worst parts of the bible.  I thought I was surely going to die.  And that is LEGAL.  But the crazy part is, dealing with black folk, since it is now deemed illegal to sell, niggas wanna try it now.  IM SURE THIS IS HOW COCAINE GOT ITS START IDIOTS!

Whatever happened to 3piece and what’s the last Twista album you bought?

I always wondered about what happened to three piece, and recently got reports that they were going to beaty shops to peddle a new album entitled “The red line.” Anywho, as much as they fell off, you cannot deny that summer of 2001, they song had you doing all type of stuff to women in the club,  I remember college night at the 50 Yard Line (now known as the Lick to you young whippersnappers) and they performed in the middle of the party.  A person who shall remain nameless on my friends list gave me to this day the best dance I received in the club, strippers included.  Enough of that though.  The last twister album I brought was adrenalin rush.  I bootleg the good one when I was in college, but I don’t plan on buying anymore.  Twister songs all sound like they were produced in the back of Uncle Remus.  No thank you.

Please rank the following: Drose, CP3, Rondo, Deron Williams

Now this is a question.  This is my answer as of today at 1:05pm…

1)      CP3-People forgot how good Chris Paul is when healthy.  I mean, he is playing point guard like God intended it to be.

2)      Deron Williams- Not too far behind, bigger body, slightly better shooter…but points deducted because he is light skinned with a receding hairline he tries to hide.

3)      Derrick Rose- I’m sorry But I cannot in good conscious put him below rondo.  The reason:  You can start a team around Paul, Williams, and Rose.  You can’t start building your team around Rondo.  And I reserve the right for when Boozer gets back to rate Rose higher, because he scores better than any point guard right now, while averaging 10 assist.

4)      Rondo-Needless to say, I love Rondo’s game, he has an uncanny ability to put the ball in the exact spot his teammate needs it. And his rebounding is uncanny.

How do you feel about married people looking through each other’s cell phone?

That is tricky.  I always have a simple rule:  If you aren’t paying this bill, than you aren’t looking through my phone on the regular.  I have always lived by that creed.  It saves both parties time, headache, and a good shaking.  But at the same time, if my wife picks up my phone, so be it.  If you married I suggest you not cheat so this won’t be a problem at all lol.

What do you really think of the Q and A game we played on facebook this week?

I thought it was fun…for two days.  By day three, people were just being messy and they young people of facebook have no class at all with what to put up on what not to put up.  It was an opportunity to tell somebody you had a crush on them, even though they probably already knew.  It was an opportunity to tell someone why you stop talking to them, even though, again, you probably had been guessed the answer.  Overall, it was a fun read that helped me waste time during the work day.  To all the people that acted like they were too old or mature to play…Get over yourself.  Nobody could care less about your wanna be older lame ass answering questions.  We already knew you were a whore or a lame to begin with.

WHY BLACK PEOPLE DON'T VOTE AND MY SOLUTIONS FOR IT...

My good friend Elliott called me today and said "Ant P, what is all the commotion about with this election?  Why are people complaining about it when they havent tweeted about it until yesterday?"  I told him you know how are people are, we are quick to complain about anything.  Then I caught wind of the actual percentages of african americans that voted...4.7%.  That is sad, like really sad.  It got me to thinking, what are the reasons my people dont vote?  What could we do about it? Well...lets see i we ca figure it out....

1) THE ACTUAL VOTING PROCESS ITS OUTDATED AND TEDIOUS...
I woke up yesterday morning wondering how I was getting to the polling place.  See I still use my grandma address as my address because I dont trust my mail going to the east side of chicago (if you know me, you know I dont particular care for the type of people that leave east of cottage grove).  I ended up borrowing a co workers car and driving to vote during my lunch hour (my job gave us 2 hours to vote).  This was a rather inconvenient thing since I had a lot of work to do yesterday.  Why is this voting process so hard?  There are numerous things that are asinine that you can do easier than voting.  You can order whole bedroom sets, vote for dancing with the stars, change a flat tire, pick up a prostitute, or even order a 6 piece with mild sauce and a mystic from Harolds, and all these processes are easier than voting.  AND THEN DO YOU REALIZE THAT WE HAVE TO VOTE ON A WORK DAY? ITS ALREADY HARD GETTING TO WORK ON A REGULAR DAY!!

Antp's Solution:  Stop making election day the first tuesday of November.  Shit gets done on the weekend, and so should voting.  This should be the most obvious solution.  Aint nothing easy when I gotta wake up to 'beat the crowds' and that includes buying Jordans and voting.

2) WHY DO I HAVE TO VOTE AT ONE PARTICULAR POLLING PLACE ON ELECTION DAY?
We put a man on the moon, we made snooki famous in america, why the hell can't I vote where I want to on election day?  Yes I know that if you vote early you can vote at any selected place, but we all know one thing...BLACK PEOPLE AINT DOING NOTHING EARLY...we just not.  So I am sure technology has advanced far enough that you can make it possible to vote anywhere in the city.  This shit is so outdated that people were calling me yesterday if they could vote anywhere and when I told them no, they just looked confuse.  I can vote right after work if you let me use the polling place by it jerks...

Antp's solution:  Make polling places on election day open to where anybody can vote anywhere in a city...I think thats simple as hell to do!

3) PUT THE POLLING PLACES AT VENUES THAT BLACK FOLK WILL BE AT?
Niggas aint trying to go to church on sundays, let alone on a cold tuesday.  Early voting at the police station? Not when I got warrants chief. 

Antps solution: Lets get some polls at places you know niggas be at like Aldi's, Ultra, East of the Ryan, the 50 Yard line, hell even my house.  Any nigga who throw live house parties should request his house to be a polling place.  You know its people on the North Side of Chicago who houses are polling places?  This would work for us, I would even have Ella make spinach dip if you niggas came to vote at my crib...

4) WE JUST STARTED BEING AWARE OF THE ISSUES SINCE 2007...
...When Obama started his campaign.  I know alot of my friends have been aware way longer than that, but the average black person couldnt tell you who held all the office in the state before 2008.  Thats when people had election night viewing parties and all type of cute stuff.  And since we got Obama in, we all thought we did our job and that we didnt have to pay attention anymore.  Admit, some of yall aint even know it was an election this year until two weeks ago.  If we don't educate ourselves nobody will.  With all this technology around us, we still dont pay attention to the most important thing...THE NEWS....I watch the news at least three times a week just to see what type of shit they trying to pull off.
Antp's solution: Just read and watch, you'll be surprised how many bs laws they are trying to pass on our ass!

5) WE JUST DON'T CARE
Even though Im writing this blog, in the end...we as a whole still wont get out to vote unless they take something critical away from us,  like our right to be a hoodrat or sag pants.  We too comfortable.  There is no rallying cause for us to be unified behind, the black leaders in our country now our either a) untrustworthy or b) not compelling enough.  And the fact that everybody thought when Obama got it in that magical things were going to happen (like lazy niggas magically getting jobs) that they got discouraged when they dont see immediate results.  This is just the state we are in, sad but true, and to get out of that....I don't have an answer for as of yet...

TIL ANOTHER DAY...HOLLA AT YA BOY!