It's Tuesday roughly 48 hours since Tebow pulled off a miracle that should be ranked in the top 50 of miracles God has performed. (If you are scoring at home, this ranks right behind the parting of the Red Sea). Between that and this shortened NBA offseason/free agency that reminds me of a lunchtime dice game I'm at my wits end. So I came here to my blog to blow some steam. My rants, according to how they are popping in my head:
1) I have replayed that Broncos Bears game in my head 100 times, and these anyalyst need to stop. Tebow is inspiring. Tebow is a virgin. Tebow may even be the third part of the holy trinity. But Tebow is not a winning starting qb in the NFL. I have accepted the fact the Bears, without their starting QB and RB (who were top ten at their respective positions) lost to a higher purpose. When God is minstering, no one can stop it, not even a great Bears defense...it is what it is. As I said before, I truly believe God is using Tebow to convert some people to Christianity. Denver, especially Tebow, DID NOT BEAT US. In fact, if it wasn't for Marion freaking Barber running out of bounds...
2) Marion Barber. What. The. Hell. Im trying to remain composed as I type this, but dude? What the flocka? I mean really? REALLY??!!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN JUMP IN THE AIR AND LANDED IN BOUNDS OR RUN BACKWARDS YOU OLE PUNK SUM MA MA B*#$H?!!! ARRRGHHHHHH!!! Moving on...
3) Dwight Howard. Dude, my grandaddy told me a phrase that you need to adhere to. He told me "I don't know what the key to a successful life is, but I do know you will fail trying to please everybody." But here you are, on TV telling me you think Orlando is the greatest place in the world and you don't want to leave...but you are requesting a trade? Dude you are a grown ass man, if you want to leave stop acting like a pussy about it. And the fact that you are requesting trades to some random ass places outside of LA is baffling! New Jersey/Brooklyn, but you dont want to come to Chicago? You right D Howard, don't come, because Chicago fans sniff out the pussy in they sports figures the quickest and will expose you (see Boozer, Carlos, 2011 playoffs)
4) David Stern and the NBA...Thanks Stern, now I get to watch these NBA games this year knowing that if the Bulls win a championship you may come down and say that they didnt really win and you are taking the trophy away for "basketball reasons" smh. I hate how black people got to give detailed explanations over minor incidents like not putting a shopping cart back in the parking lot, but white people can do abundantly foul shit sometimes and the only explanation they gotta drop is "basketball reasons"...what the hell...
5) Bitter single women...stop rubbing off on your friends and let your happier friends be great. Its the holidays, you hoes. Cheer up.
Thats all the rants I have for now. Until I get pissed by something else later today smh.
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