It's Tuesday roughly 48 hours since Tebow pulled off a miracle that should be ranked in the top 50 of miracles God has performed. (If you are scoring at home, this ranks right behind the parting of the Red Sea). Between that and this shortened NBA offseason/free agency that reminds me of a lunchtime dice game I'm at my wits end. So I came here to my blog to blow some steam. My rants, according to how they are popping in my head:
1) I have replayed that Broncos Bears game in my head 100 times, and these anyalyst need to stop. Tebow is inspiring. Tebow is a virgin. Tebow may even be the third part of the holy trinity. But Tebow is not a winning starting qb in the NFL. I have accepted the fact the Bears, without their starting QB and RB (who were top ten at their respective positions) lost to a higher purpose. When God is minstering, no one can stop it, not even a great Bears defense...it is what it is. As I said before, I truly believe God is using Tebow to convert some people to Christianity. Denver, especially Tebow, DID NOT BEAT US. In fact, if it wasn't for Marion freaking Barber running out of bounds...
2) Marion Barber. What. The. Hell. Im trying to remain composed as I type this, but dude? What the flocka? I mean really? REALLY??!!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN JUMP IN THE AIR AND LANDED IN BOUNDS OR RUN BACKWARDS YOU OLE PUNK SUM MA MA B*#$H?!!! ARRRGHHHHHH!!! Moving on...
3) Dwight Howard. Dude, my grandaddy told me a phrase that you need to adhere to. He told me "I don't know what the key to a successful life is, but I do know you will fail trying to please everybody." But here you are, on TV telling me you think Orlando is the greatest place in the world and you don't want to leave...but you are requesting a trade? Dude you are a grown ass man, if you want to leave stop acting like a pussy about it. And the fact that you are requesting trades to some random ass places outside of LA is baffling! New Jersey/Brooklyn, but you dont want to come to Chicago? You right D Howard, don't come, because Chicago fans sniff out the pussy in they sports figures the quickest and will expose you (see Boozer, Carlos, 2011 playoffs)
4) David Stern and the NBA...Thanks Stern, now I get to watch these NBA games this year knowing that if the Bulls win a championship you may come down and say that they didnt really win and you are taking the trophy away for "basketball reasons" smh. I hate how black people got to give detailed explanations over minor incidents like not putting a shopping cart back in the parking lot, but white people can do abundantly foul shit sometimes and the only explanation they gotta drop is "basketball reasons"...what the hell...
5) Bitter single women...stop rubbing off on your friends and let your happier friends be great. Its the holidays, you hoes. Cheer up.
Thats all the rants I have for now. Until I get pissed by something else later today smh.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Return of the Mailbag!!!
When will the NBA lockout end and who will get the better deal, players or owners?
Before we address when the lockout end, lets address the obvious: THE LOCKOUT SUCKS. This has got to be the worst thing taken away from me since they closed Dock’s on 95th and Vincennes
When will the lockout end? Prayerfully, in October. Hopefully? In January. Realistically? May 2012. The sides are so apart, the owners are anal, the players are in denial about what they have done to mess up the financial structure and nobody is budging. The players are way more educated about how to handle the lockout then they were in ’98. It’s going to be a long ride unfortunately.
Who will get the better deal? I have never been seen a situation where millionaires and billionaires got into an argument and the billionaires came up with the short end of the stick. There billionaires for a reason and they have made their money in other areas where they can sit out two seasons if need be to get what they want. Imagine if you 16 and decided to stage a lockout versus your parents? How you think that would play out?
As of right now, does Barack Obama get your vote in the 2012 election? Why or Why not?
Of course Barack gets my vote in 2012. Why does he? Not because he’s black (that definitely entices me) but because…who the hell else am I picking? Wild horses couldn’t drag me to the poll to vote for Palin, I don’t know enough about the Tea Party but from what I know, they haven’t said anything new, and the Republicans still don’t get it. Honestly, unless Jesus Christ is on the ballot, I don’t know think any candidate can get us out of the mess we are in, INCLUDING Obama. It just seems like everyone is putting the same piece of boo boo on a plate and popping it in a microwave and telling me it’s a gourmet meal, and I’m yelling back no its not, you just warmed up a piece of shit. That’s what the politics of this country feel like to me. So I don’t mind giving Obama another 4 years to see what he can do. Aint like I got a better choice.
I have a virus on my computer and my aunt has to come to my house to fix it. What is the best way to tell her my admin password is “pussypussypussy”?
I don’t know how I feel that of all the people you know in life, I’m the person you feel is the best to answer this question. That is either a compliment or diss. Anywho, I would just calmly tell Auntie that I have early onset Alzheimer and that’s the easiest thing for a young man like myself to remember *blank stare*…
How do you feel about the NFL reviews of every touchdown that is obvious? It takes up too much time…
I’m all for any advance in rules that helps us achieve more accuracy in our favorite sport, but some of these challenges take too damn long to go thru. If after drinking a fifth of 1800 with friends straight no chaser I can glance at the TV and know something is a touchdown intoxicated, but it takes an NFL ref 5 minutes to figure it out with the aid of replay official up top in a booth, they have got to do better. During the Bears-Giants preseason game, I was able to go take a piss and they were still discussing a touchdown replay. Ridiculous!
Are men ok with their women making more money than them and are women comfortable making more money than their men?
Interesting question, but it honestly depends on the individuals. In a perfect world it shouldn’t matter, because you should love the person for who they are and the money shouldn’t be a huge factor (lets be real, it is a factor, thus the reason we should both have a job; in fact lets assume the question deal with both people working because I don’t deal well with unemployed people who don’t give a damn about working…let me stop before I go on a rant). It’s a recession and sometime you got to get in where you fit in employment wise. You need all the help you can get! What I look like as a man to be moody and pouty all because my woman makes more than me, that’s foolish. If you can’t celebrate your woman’s success than you got bigger issues than her paycheck. And as a woman, as long as you see your guy grinding trying to move his way up and he still provides you with everything you need monetarily and emotionally, why care? Don’t turn a good guy away just because you make a few more thousands! That few more thousands can’t buy your dream guy if you already turned him away…
How does Will and Jada breaking up affect the black community?
I feel like this was the dumbest display of the black community yet. We already have problems with relationships within our community, but to act like an asteroid was about to hit planet Earth when 'rumors' of Will and Jada split was surfacing was pathetic. Whats wrong with you people!!!! Just because 2 ppl are breaking up who are famous, doesn't give you the right to say "oh my god, what do I do with my relationship now?'...You big dummy, WTF DO THEY GOT TO DO WITH YOU AND YO TRIFILING ASS RELATIONSHIP? PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU ARE GOING TO REACT IF YOU FOUND OUT OBAMA HAD A WOMAN ON THE SIDE?!!! IF YOU HADNT NOTICE, MOST BLACK MEN COULD GIVE A DAMN. BLACK WOMEN PUT MORE IDEOLOGIES AND FALSE PRETENSES ON RELATIONSHIPS THAN ANY OTHER SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION...I SWEAR...
Friday, June 10, 2011
THE DECONSTRUCTION OF LEBRON JAMES...THE FACTS HIS FANS DON'T WANT TO SEE...
17 points. 10 rebounds. 10 assists.
On the surface, these numbers look like a wonderful all around performance. It leads you to believe that the person who produced this stat line had their fingerprints all over this game, that they controlled the outcome of this game from the opening tip. If Danny Granger, Luol Deng, or Andre Iguodala had put up these numbers, we would be hailing them as one of the better performers of the game.
But oh sweet baby 9 pound, 8 ounce Jesus, we actually have to watch games with our eyes. And what I have seen from the last two games from LeBron James, including the aforementioned triple double, is some of the worst basketball I’ve seen from an alleged “best player in basketball” in my 28 years of walking this earth. But the even more frustrating part of these sleep walking performances? That some of his fans are trying to defend this guy and his actions on the basketball court. My question to you fans: When do you all stop accepting mediocrity from this guy?
Let’s lay out some facts since you all just want to look at numbers and not the whole picture so you can feel better about yourselves. LeBron James has scored a total of 11 points in 5 fourth quarters in this series so far. For a comparison of how low that is, Dirk has scored 52. Lebron James through 9 NBA Finals games (he got swept in 2007 by the Spurs) has never scored over 25 points in a game. LeBron James has scored a COMBINED 25 points in the past 2 games with…wait for it…JASON FREAKING KIDD AND DESHAWN SOLDJA BOY STEVENSON DEFENDING HIM…BOTH ARE LISTED AS 6’4”…IN CASE YOU FORGOT, LEBRON JAMES IS LISTED AS 6’8” 260 POUNDS WITH CHRIS PAUL SPEED. YES, THAT WAS KARL MALONES SIZE IF YOU WERE THINKING THAT. LeBron James was content with shooting 3-11 one game when his team desperately needed scoring. I could go on and on but you get the point.
Yet, when it is convenient for his fans to ignore these facts, they do so and tell me things like “LeBron was trying to be a facilitator” and “LeBron had a triple double, how could you say he had a bad game?” when they know damn well when they were watching the game they called LeBron all types of bitches and hoes. Look Lebron fans, all I want I consistency. When Derrick Rose struggled, I was the first to admit that my favorite player struggled down the stretch and that LeBron had a part in that. A lot of you Bulls haters (who actually live in Chicago
When are you people going to give this clown his full blame without trying to bring up somebody else’s bad game? If LeBron was on you pickup team at the park and you knew he COULD dominate but kept passing the ball to lesser teammates and you lost the game? YOU WOULD BE PISSED. WHEN ARE LEBRON FANS GOING TO STAND UP AND SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND YOU DEMAND GREATNESS FROM THIS CLOWN?!!! IT’S THE NBA FINALS DAMMIT; THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO FACILITATE! NOT WITH JASON FREAKING KIDD STICKING YOU!!! I DON’T GET IT!!! SOME OF YOU ALL EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO BLAME DWAYNE WADE, WHEN HE WAS THE ONLY SHOWING A GOD DAMN PULSE IN THE FOURTH QUARTER. HELL CHRIS BOSH HAS BEEN MORE DEPENDABLE DOWN THE STRETCH THAN HE HAS.
And people who are not familiar with why some of us hate LeBron, this is why. I know Derrick Rose tries his damnest every game to win. I know Kobe
P.S. MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN WOULD NEVER EVER LAY CONSECUTIVE TURD SANDWICHES IN THE FINALS LIKE THIS BASTARD DID. THE THINGS HE WOULD HAVE DID TO JASON KIDD IN THE POST WOULD BE LABELED AS CHILD PORNOGROPHY. JUST WANTED TO MAKE THAT CLEAR IN CASE YOU EVEN THOUGHT SCOTTIE PIPPEN WAS RIGHT YOU IMBECILES!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
D ROSE IS MVP...AND IT AINT NOTHING YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT...
I’m sick and tired….
I am at the point of vomiting…
If I read one more ‘DERRICK ROSE IS NOT THE MVP’ article from these stat nerds I am going to scream! In the past week, I’ve read at least 10 articles detailing me how D Rose doesn’t statistically compare to his MVP competition and that this is all just a way of the media getting revenge on LeBron James. Its time from someone who sat at the cool table at lunch time to speak on this issue.
This whole argument between the media types and stat nerds seems like a sports example of high school. All the cool kids are doing the cool things and the nerds have to go out the box just to be noticed. You know, stuff like put decorations on their Volkswagen beetles and dress differently and tell everyone “I’m wearing the stuff ya’ll not on yet.” Naw player, Boff aint never coming in style. The cool kids always prevail.
That’s how I see this MVP thing playing out. The ‘cool kids’ (ESPN, TNT Inside the Game Crew, NBA TV people) are for the most part picking Derrick Rose for MVP, for the following reasons: leader of the best team in the east, only player in top ten in scoring and assist, demonstrates ability to take game to the next level when needed in the clutch, carried team when Carlos Boozer took his three annual trips to the injured list and when Noah was injured, forced to play with the carcass of Keith Bogans at the 2 guard spot and then breathed life into him to the point that Bogans has connected on 43% of his threes since January, and probably the most electrifying player in the game to watch. The Keith Bogans fact alone should have cemented this.
But lo and behold, there is cry from the nerd community saying ‘WAIT A MINUTE! HOW CAN YOU JOCKS JUST MAKE THE CHOICE THAT THIS IS HOW IT HAS TO BE?!!! COME ON MAN, THAT’S NOT FAIR, WHAT ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY? They have been on an all out warfare against D rose candidacy. Here are the stat nerds case against D rose: Lebron, D Howard, and a host of other players have had a higher PER rating than rose, the Bulls Defense is the real reason the Bulls are where they are, if you look at a SMALL ASS SAMPLE SIZE of stats, you can see that the Bulls would not be as bad as we thought without Rose, his teammates are not as bad as you think, the Bulls offense is average at best, his fg % is low for an MVP candidate and host of other non sensical reasons. But the most important reason: YOU ALL MADE HIM THE MVP WINNER ALREADY WITHOUT CONSULTING US ABOUT THE STATS.
Well you know what stat geek community? Too freaking bad! You wanted your home girl in AP calculus to win prom queen because she was a nice girl? Too fucking bad. All the bros chose the redbone with the fat ass for prom queen and we shall sleep well with this choice. Same as MVP. You can crunch all the stats you want, but when they don’t add up to what we see on the court, then the correct answer is to not conform what I see to fit your stats. It is to look at what I see first, check the stats and then form a balance conclusion from there. You stat nerds are not doing that! Russell Westbrook is an awesome player, but if I see one more article telling me he’s more of an MVP candidate than rose again, I’m going to throw a laptop. You all watch the damn games! While westbrook has taken over some games, his main job is to set everything up for his spectacular small forward Kevin Durant. Rose is asked to be the main scorer, main distributor, start the defensive intensity, walk on water, breast feed and take out the garbage. And Ive seen westbrook run some crunch time offense, it leaves much to be desired.
The fact that the bulls offense ranks in the top 15 in the league is a testament to Rose not a detriment. He missed his best low post option for at least 35 games, his best rebounder (especially offensive) for 31 games, has only one three point (consistent) shooter in Korver and Luol Deng. Thats not exactly the Phoenix suns offense. And for everyone that discredits his defense, he does play 38 minutes a game. There are only 48 minutes in a game. I think he can be lumped in with that defense improvement. He has made huge strides on defense this year to the point where he has stuck D wade in the clutch and did a reasonable job. He's not Gary Payton, but he's no steve nash on the defensive end either. AND TO SAY THAT THE BULLS WOULDN'T BE THAT BAD WITHOUT HIM IS THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL THING I HEARD. HAVE YOU SEEN CJ WATSON RUN AN OFFENSE FOR A QUARTER? AND DON'T EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE IT.
Look, we can go back and forth on who could win this award. And I can even admit that there are some worthy canidates this year. But I suggest instead of writing whole articles on why Rose SHOULDN’T WIN IT…write an article on who you think should win it. Before the cool kids come by and take your calculators.
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